Hey! OK this is for all of you who don't have Facebook, these are the conversations me and Jon had today during lectures... Enjoy!
First Convo
Jon: What is the strangest animal in the world?Holly: The Platterpuss Jon: I think Pygmy seals would rock!Holly: Is that just not baby seals?Jon: No Pygmy according to Dictionary.com is a member of a small-stature people native to equatorial Africa.Holly: (cracks up about a poor lady beards joke – she is now in lots of little bits all over the flour)Jon: I hope I don’t inhale any of Holly! Those little bits get evereverywheren chokes on Holly’s ear) How does it feel to be in thousands of pieces?Holly: ShitJon: Is that a soppy or hard one?Holly: (shakes head disapprovingly)Jon: Not my fault u feel like a Pooo!Holly: God is going to smite youJon: Seems a little harsh!Holly: He loves me muchly so he gets arsey with people who take the pissJon: Well I’m glad God does cos it takes the divine to love you.Holly: No-commentJon: (smiles and nods)Holly: BotheredJon: Bless Holly: well, I can’t believe that the lecture just slagged us off!Jon: yeah I know I’m an incredibly sexy man!!Holly: Yeah I know.Jon: ThanksHolly: (shakes head disapprovingly)Jon: (shrugs shoulders)Holly: In my mind (Eddie Izzard)Fi: (Fi interputs talking about Muse)Jon: Is that like when u gaze meditatively or wonderingly?Holly: (shakes head disapprovingly)Jon: (shrugs Shoulders)Holly: (shakes head disapprovingly)Jon: (shrugs Shoulders)Holly: (shakes head disapprovingly)Jon: (shrugs Shoulders)Holly: (shakes head disapprovingly)Jon: (shrugs Shoulders)Holly: (shakes head disapprovingly)Jon: (shrugs Shoulders)Holly: (shakes head disapprovingly)Jon: (shrugs Shoulders)Holly: (shakes head disapprovingly)Jon: (shrugs Shoulders)Holly: (shakes head disapprovingly)Jon: (shrugs Shoulders)Holly: (shakes head disapprovingly)Jon: (shrugs Shoulders)Holly: (shakes head disapprovingly)Jon: (shrugs Shoulders)Holly: (shakes head disapprovingly)Jon: (wonders in disbelief)Holly: Stop it!Jon: Ok.Suddenly the nativity comes crashing into the lecture room…Jon: whoop, whoopHolly: I’m gonna rob the kings!!!! (she shouts)Jon: I didn’t realise there were Platterpuss’ kept in stables!Devil: (strokes platterpuss)Jonathan Edwards: Enters roomHolly: (dances on the table)Jon: are you sure pole dancing is appropriate for the nativity?Holly: Well it’s Jesus’ Birthday!!Jon: HummmmmmConversation ends…
Second Convo
Jon: Can u imagine Jesus driving a car probably a people carrier full of evil spirits?Holly: your strange…??Jon: well the bible tells us he was driving them out – that’s nice of the Son of God to take all the evil spirits out to lunch!!!Holly: Bacon, egg and SPAM … (holly sings to her self – spam, spam, spam, spam) Jon: Its soo trueMeanwhile in Jesus’ VWJesus: ‘I like driving in my car… its not quite a jaguar…’Evil spirits: ‘doo doo doo doo doo doo do’Back to modernity:Jon: Do u think Jesus also took them out for day trips?Holly: Yes – to the zoo.Jon: Oh (Jon signs loudly in leture room - to the zoo, zoo, zoo, I want to go to, to, to…)Holly: Into the pigs…Jon: humm all new extra curricula activities for them tooo!!Holly: swimming lessons weren’t so successful!Jon: yeah I thought Jesus was God – does that mean God can’t swim?Holly: maybe he is too big and too heavy to float!Jon: maybe he just forgot that pigs can’t swim!Holly: but they can fly (Holly signs again – Come fly with me come fly just fly away… we’re gonna beat those pigs down to agapoko bay)Jon: do u think Jesus was trying to baptise the pigs?Back to Jesus at the water front…Jesus: I baptise you in spirit and… oooh shit! (evil sprits drown)Back to the hubbub of eschatology lecture room…Holly: he should have used the giraffes!!!Jon: Yeah but they don’t have funny curly tails!Holly: Evil spirits must have curly tails… point taken!Jon: You would have thought that God could have made a Pi-affe, just like those famous cow-pigs (thanks for that Jo).Holly: he should have just used Civic Bang (hums… bang and the dirt is gone)Jon: ‘sigh’ I don’t think he was trying to remove lime scale from the evil spirits earlobes!Holly: do they have lime scale on their earlobes?Jon: yeah, don’t we all?Holly: No.
Phew!
Well done if you got through that! Hope it gives you something to think about!
Holz xx
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you have a new blog
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